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Still better than cell phone drivers. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/woman-nabbed-auto-erotic-crime

Time to learn the ABC’s. http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.74f06613ea91a1f1041b96c96477427f.561&show_article=1

Dispatch from the Land of the Dead (Mexico). http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/mexico-bleeding-to-death-in-the-war-on-drugs-2062251.html

Robbing Social Security the DC way. http://money.cnn.com/2010/08/25/news/economy/alan_simpson_fiscal_commission/index.htm

Nobody does it like B-more. http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/crime/blog/2010/08/young_female_murder_suspect_ca.html

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Space chase with implications for the arms race. http://www.news.com.au/technology/us-militarys-top-secret-x-37b-shuttle-disappears-for-two-weeks-changes-orbit/story-e6frfro0-1225909738276

Mother nature never goes on vacation. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100825/ap_on_sc/us_sci_gulf_oil_eating_bugs;_ylt=AjVB3cKZU3QVSzzxcEFc5N9bbBAF;_ylu=X3oDMTNncG9nczBkBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwODI1L3VzX3NjaV9ndWxmX29pbF9lYXRpbmdfYnVncwRjY29kZQNtb3N0cG9wdWxhcgRjcG9zAzQEcG9zAzQEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yaWVzBHNsawNuZXdtaWNyb2JlZGk-

Teachers down on recruiters but cool with planning attacks. http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/international/teacher-assigns-students-to-plan-terror-attack-20100825-newscore

Apparently science only understands 5% of the universe, that’s not even a D! http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100825/ts_nm/us_science_cern_matter

Your rights, ending one second at a time. http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/08599201315000

Backdoor amnesty, somebody should get an award for that phrase. http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7169978.html

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You can make money with a blog, get out of town! http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/philly-requiring-bloggers-to-pay-300-for-a-business-license-101264664.html

Damn, they must have a cash printing press in CA. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100822/ap_on_re_us/us_taj_mahal_schools

Yeesh, to hell with this nonsense, where is my flying car, Doc Brown? http://bostonherald.com/business/general/view.bg?articleid=1276131

And you thought your employer sucked. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/chile/7959683/Chiles-trapped-miners-could-be-stuck-until-Christmas.html

Just say no to nuclear boar. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100819/ap_on_re_eu/eu_germany_radioactive_boars

Perjury in Congress, nahhhh. http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2010/08/19/federal-authorities-reportedly-decide-indict-roger-clemens/

Increased unemployment, recovery summer continues. http://www.cnbc.com/id/38768328

And the guy in charge awards himself sixth vacation of the year. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/barackobama/7952796/Obamas-to-begin-sixth-holiday-of-the-year.html#disqus_thread

Silly hippies, bears love honey not pot. http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.c6b7a7c8f2c3660aa232f7c0fc600cd8.1051&show_article=1

Nudity and blood, we are a nation of American Psychos. http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/galleries/grin_and_bare_it_covers_reveal_naked_ambition/grin_and_bare_it_covers_reveal_naked_ambition.html http://gawker.com/5615393/rolling-stones-true-blood-cover-gross-vampire-threesome

Google recommends changing your name otherwise they WILL OWN YOU. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/7951269/Young-will-have-to-change-names-to-escape-cyber-past-warns-Googles-Eric-Schmidt.html

Most stressful or most whiny, you decide. http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/americas-most-stressful-cities-2010

Need to transport uranium directly from South America to Iran? We have the flight for you. http://wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=2029721

Can you solve this mystery? Officials need help because tax money does not equal intelligence. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3101146/The-mystery-of-mutilated-seals.html

Feel like a Paramount insider, see list of shitty movies in development. http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2010/08/whups_this_paramount_email_gav.php

What to do when your daughter makes porn. http://www.thesuperficial.com/laurence-fishburne-writes-off-montana-im-done-with-you-08-2010#comment-4807392