The Door to Hell (in the nighttime) / Turkmenistan, Darvaza
My second grade teacher was the worst I ever had. I will call her Bitch. Bitch was middle-aged, fat, Jewish (appearance, not social commentary), had fat children, and spinal problems. I was an average annoying kid, not paying attention and messing around. However Bitch acted like I was starting fires while drawing indecent pictures of her. Bitch put me in the lowest learning groups she could, sent me out of the room to tell the class what a bad person I was, mis-graded my work (not adding up points correctly), and loved to dump my desk for being messy.
Once Bitch asked me after class what I wanted for Christmas. I told her a nuclear rocket. Bitch said oh a model, and I said no a real one. It was the 80′s, the evening news had videos of giant nuke rockets. I thought they had nuclear engines and pilot cabins and it would be awesome if Santa could hook me up phat that year. I did not expect Santa to roll up under the radar with an ICBM strapped to the sleigh, I just wanted to be an astronaut. So guess who wound up playing weird board games with really fucked up kids in the guidance office three times a week for the rest of the year? What a bitch.
Luckily, my third grade teacher was sweat and pretty. I will call her Glinda. I had a little crush on Glinda, plus it was refreshing not to be hated and demeaned everyday. By the middle of the year I had advanced through all the learning groups and was placed in the gifted and talented program.
I hope heaven is filled with sweet teachers like Glinda that actually gave a shit. I also hope there is special hell for teachers that torture small children, and that the old cunt Bitch is burning there now, drowning in her melted fat.
